I had to take a stand. My fourteen year old son is rude and disrespectful. Maybe that is typical behavior for someone his age, but that doesn’t mean I have to take it. It started when the first words out of his mouth this morning when I woke him up were, “I need my dress uniform for FFA by today!” Now he had all weekend to get his stuff together, but of course he forgot until this morning. I looked up the uniform requirements on the internet while he was getting ready for school and saw that it included award pins to be worn on his jacket. This led to an argument over whether the award he receive last month was indeed appropriate award to be worn on his jacket. He was concerned he would be the only one wearing this award and wanted to merely take it loose in the bag or pocket of the jacket. I knew where this would lead. The pin would never make it home, ending up lost somewhere between here and the dress rehearsal today after school. He was adamant and refused to wear the pin. We settled on leaving it home instead, but his comments continued about my “yelling” at him for not wearing the pin. He was rude and disrespectful and the remarks continued to escalate over the next 30 minutes. I don’t care about him, I won’t help him, I just want to yell at him about everything, etc., etc… All of this after I called in to work, taking time off in the morning so I could take him to school with his uniform, looking up the requirements online for him and getting his dad to help purchase any items he may need during the day today. I reminded him of the help I was indeed lending him and of how he was less than appreciative. Then he continued on about how terrible I treat him, again about me “yelling” about the pin, every other injustice he felt has been laid upon him over the past fourteen years of his life and on and on. Finally, he couldn’t wait for me to start the roast in crockpot that would be our dinner tonight. NO! That would keep him from getting to school early. After much contemplation, I decided he did not deserve any favors from me, and that I was not teaching him to be appreciative of me or what I do for him, if I continued to give while he treated me this way. I told him I would not take him to school and boy did the sparks fly! How could I do this to him? Now he was going to be late! The only reason he hadn’t left earlier was because I had agreed to give him a ride to work! I’m sorry, did I miss something? I guess he forgot that he and I had spent all morning getting his FFA uniform ready. The last minute scramble to make sure everything was clean and fit properly!
His solution was to defy me and not go to school at all! Now that’s logic! Even for a fourteen year old. He felt that he would have to carry around his uniform all day. He couldn’t be burdened and he felt there was no other solution, so he just wouldn’t go. That would show me. Now if I wanted to go ahead and take him, then he would go, and all would be right with the world. I refused. He could walk like every other teenager in our neighborhood. He would have none of it. He didn’t have to go if he didn’t want to! As a matter of fact, not only was attending school his choice, so was living with me. He could walk right out that door and never come back. Ever! He’s right. Here’s the thing though – He still lives here and it is still my responsibility to make sure he goes to school and I am not going to bargain with him. I gave him one last choice. He could go to school or I would call them and they could take him to school. Because yes I AM one of those kinds of mothers who will call the police on their son if he won’t go to school. I will call the police if my son becomes violent and destructive. I will call the police if I fear for my safety or the safety of my children. Even if the threat is from my very own son. I have to take a stand.
